slow blooming rose. I take my time in everything I do. people usually get annoyed by it. :) that's okay, I think I'll still keep it that way. framing a life isn't something that happens in a day, and I've made my fair share of mistakes, so forgive my cautious nature - I've had to rebuild on more than one occasion. once, my roommate made a comment about her singleness, the whole "what's wrong with me spiel", and she said "you know, it's not like I've majorly screwed up my life" :) that made me laugh - and cry at the same time, because I have. big major huge mistakes. and I know it takes someone who's experienced grace in the very intimate and real ways that I have to understand the me before I was, well, myself. :) and though I find that many people are experienced in doctrine and sympathies, few are experienced in the kind of reckless, bold and offensive grace that I've been given. and that's okay too, though I would like that to change. not so I'd be understood, but because everyone should see the aftermath of their own collision with raw grace. I think that'd be cool. way more than cool - I think that'd be revival... :)

grace has taken it's time with me. it's own devastatingly sweet time. unfolding all of my mistakes and mending them and making them into something lovely. and whenever I feel life is passing me by because I don't have a cookie-cutter story, because I'm so slow at everything and I'm just hoping that I haven't missed the boat with all my detours, I remember it's not about catching a sleek steamer that's gonna whisk me away to wonderful, but about trusting that the grace that began a good work in me is faithful to complete it. and I'd rather be the turtle than the hare.

pale summer shoes. my hopeful folk/americana band name - it's all in the works. and by works, I mean that I have a bunch of lovely and eager gals who would absolutely love to do something like that, but we all have other things more pressing on our life-agendas right now, and none of us play any of our designated instruments yet... :) ah, well, a girl can dream. I recently decided that this is one of my dreams, to be a folk singer, not a famous one, but kind of like an Eva Cassidy, or Patty Griffin, solid fan base, captivating talent, but somehow they slip through the cracks of mainstream and even pop indie crowds. that would be amazing. well, at least now it would be, seeing as I have no family of my own or notable attachments. I imagine it would be quite the adventure.

but it's just one of the adventures I dream of - others include owning a bakery/flower shop called Buns 'N Roses, haha, or teaching theology classes to bright college students, not necessarily about theology at all, but about the wonder and beauty that is Jesus... another is bartending somewhere in Northern Ireland :) and yet another is writing children's books. or maybe adult books with a child-like faith ;).

whatever the dream, I have put it off in the last year or so, tucking it in some forgotten sock drawer of my soul. a catch-all for the things I'd rather not hope for because it hurts too much. granted, some of the things in that drawer do need to be tossed out, but others just need a little fresh air... amazingly enough, stuffing faith and hope into this dark chest actually makes room for love... and I've learned that dreams aren't some cruel trick of a gem just beyond my reach, but exercises of hope, the stretching of faith, because when we trust God to the end, I'll bet we'll find we need as broad of a heart as we can get to hold all the dreams He'll fulfill in us...