"And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

One of my most haunting questions, is this going somewhere? Is all this really moving me to somewhere more beautiful than here? Or is my life to be a string of small, silent disappointments, slowly wearing away at the brightness of hope and light and life in my soul...

This hope will not lead to disappointment. This hope will not lead to disappointment. This hope will not lead to disappointment. Over and over and over again til I believe it, you could not say this enough to my hungry heart... For me, disappointment is worse than death. For haven't I found sweet and tender moments by graveside? But disappointment... I can find no sweetness there beneath the bitterness of it.


My heart mirrors the heart of Paul that cried, if this isn't real, we are to be pitied above all - for there is so much hope in this. So much hope in Christ - so much hope in this love that says I will never be disappointed in you... so much reality of the things I let lie hidden in all my unspoken longings - in this, they all come to precious, beautiful, breathing life... and if Jesus not meet me on the other side, my brothers and sisters and I face a far greater pain than death.

But a still small voice in my soul says rest assured of what you have not seen. The things you cannot yet touch, the eyes you have yet to gaze upon, the hands you have yet to hold... rest assured that this hope will not be taken from you. And know that when all else rejects or denies who you are, when longings lie vulnerably unfulfilled, you are dearly loved... you are dearly loved. This hope will lead you home. Straight into My arms, where you will never have to fight the doubts and lies again.

Blessed am I, hoping and longing and beautifully mourning for a hope I have not seen. For greater is my joy to come... greater is my joy to come... and in that day, there will be no accuser left to steal it away...

I will let hope lead me through this pain, through this longing... I will lift my eyes...

"then you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb and swell with joy..."